A Taste of Tuesday

David had a hankering for Chili this week. I've never made it from scratch before, but I figured, how hard can it be? So off I went to the grocery store to get some chili type ingredients. Right as I walked in the door, there was a big display of canned tomatoes on sale buy one, get one free. Totally cool. I picked up one of the cans and read the label. Now, keep in mind, this was just diced tomatoes -- not sauce or anything -- just chopped tomatoes -- and the ingredients list included High Fructose Corn Syrup as the third or forth ingredient. Huh?

Now, as stated in the FAQ, I am not a health food nut, I eat more than my share of junk. But the thing is, when I buy junk, I expect it to be made of junk. If I am in the mood for a Snickers bar, they could put arsenic as the first ingredient, and I would still eat it.

But when I am buying chopped tomatoes, I want chopped tomatoes, not tomatoes covered in cheap syrup that serves as a filler. I wound up buying organic canned tomatoes because they were the only ones in the store that did not contain HFCS. Yes, they were more expensive, but cost is more than just about money.

So, I spent a very long time in the store, reading every label, and eventually came home to make my baby chili. But it was very cold out, and I was whining about the weather. David said that where I was so miserable, we could call what I was making "Warmi" instead of chili. So, without further ado, here is my recipe:

Dee's Warmi

• Browned Ground beef (I used about 2.5 pounds -- better for lap band, but adjust to suit your taste)
• 2 cans organic diced tomatoes
• 1 can organic tomato sauce
• 1 can organic red kidney beans (For non-lap band peope I would suggest 2 cans of beans and less ground beef)
• Spices - I used cayanne, black and white pepper. This came out a little bland. David added salt, cilatro and more cayanne to the left overs, and it tasted better. You can also buy chili spice blends at the store, though I've never tried them.
• (Optional) Some uncooked elbow macaroni

Dump everything into a crock pot for 6-8 hours. If you choose to add the macaroni, dump it in to the crock pot (uncooked) about an hour before you want the chili to be done.

Update: It tastes even better with some wheat crackers, especially if a loved one breaks up the crackers and makes a smiley face out of them cause he knows you are grumpy due to the insanely cold weather :-)

Comments from previous blog:

(Anonymous) at 2010-01-06 15:38 (UTC) (Link)

I do read your blog!

Dee

I check your blog often--it's just that I am a lurker. I read but don't comment. And I relate so much to much of what you say. Wish I was close enough to do some of the activities with you. But not sure I would be able to. I am riding my stationary bike most days. And your blog has encouraged me to get up and move!!! And the only way I get through the boredom of riding a bike in the living room is by listening to my IPOD to songs I can sing every word with!

You are an encouragement to me and I am so glad you are a part of our family. By the way, I just copied the bread recipe and plan to make it today-- or have Amy make it :-) She has spoiled me. I seldom cook anymore. Love you, Kathy

When Addiction Rears It's Ugly Head

Back in high school, I took a took Psychology 101. When we studied addiction issues, I remembered the teacher said that some things, like cigarettes or heroin are physically addictive, but ANY thing can become psychologically addictive, you can convince yourself need pretty much anything (the example he used was talcum powder, but I got the point.)

Years ago, way back before I was contemplating having weight loss surgery, a friend who had the surgery mentioned that she had read an article that stated that people who have the surgery frequently develop problems with new addictions. She mentioned that she herself had started working more after the surgery -- lots more. She started taking on extra projects, doing other people's work, basically becoming a "work-a-holic." I remember thinking at the time that doesn't seem like a horrible thing, it seemed more productive than eating.

A little while later we had a work event at which I met someone who sang the praises of his recent weight loss surgery. He was so happy that he had lost over 100 pounds. By the time I was ready to have my surgery (a year or so later) this person was out of work being treated for drug abuse. Now, I don't know anything about the guy, maybe his eating had been taking the place of a prior drug problem, but I do know it kind of raised a red flag in my head.

Having been way too close to people with drug and alcohol problems, I had seen first hand the damage they do and it terrified me; so I really wasn't too concerned about becoming a drug addict or alcoholic. But, when I went for the first lap band meeting, I asked about the addiction issue. I don't remember exactly how the lap band salesperson answered my question, but I do remember that my concerns were pretty much just glossed over. But still, I had faith in myself that I wasn't going to start using drugs or drinking, so I just forged ahead with my plans to have the surgery.

So, I got home from the surgery and blogged about it! I had about a week off of work for the surgery and spent most of it checking email, blogging, instant messaging everyone on the planet, reading Fark.com, updating my personal web site... you get the idea.

I started back to work, thinking everything was just fine. I kept thinking that up until a few months ago... That was when I embarked upon a project to try to pull together all my writings over my life. I had a bunch of paper journals including stories, poetry, songs I'd written over the years. Then, I thought, well, I've done a lot of stuff online too, so I should include that as well. This is when things started to get a little scary...

Working on both my PC (my work computer) and my Mac (my personal computer) I pulled all my personal instant message chat logs and emails. I also pulled all my blog posts, from LiveJournal, my personal web site, Facebook, Twitter... Almost everything was time stamped -- when I began to compile everything chronologically was when I started to think there might be a problem. For almost every day, there were chats, emails, blog posts -- some timestamped with in seconds of each other -- all day long. And this was on top of reading other people's blogs and Fark and LolCats, and oh yeah, doing my actual job too.

I don't just blame the problem on the surgery. Clearly, the makings of an internet addiction were there for a while. It got bad when I started working from home full time. Even before the surgery I used the internet to distract me from eating -- "I'll just read this one news story, I'll just update Facebook/MySpace" -- then I can have a snack.

I realize that an internet addiction doesn't really sound like a bad thing. I mean, it's not like I'm spending money on gambling or porn sites, or online shopping. I'm basically just chatting, emailing, blogging, reading stuff. How can that have repercussions? Well, here's just a few:

• Time: How can you have time to chat, read, blog, email and work all at the same time? Easy! Never leave the computer! This of course means letting other things go, but hey, who needs to clean, exercise, cook (anything other than microwave junk) etc.
• Isolation: It amazes me that being on the internet for literally 20 hours a day can leave me feeling so completely isolated. But, I instant messaged so many people today! How can that be isolating? I mean, other than the fact that I am almost never physically in the same room as another actual, living, breathing human being...

Ok, so that's the issue. What is the solution? Well, I've tried to make a few changes over the last few months:

• I realize the irony, but I started this web site and blog. Trying to reach out to other people in the same or similar circumstances. A big part of that is the events page. Even if no one else shows up, I am still going out and doing them. Hopefully other people will start attending, but even if they don't, it's a few hours a week that I am off my butt and not on the computer.
• This was a big one: Just this weekend, I separated my work computer from my play computer. My play computer is no longer in my nice comfy office with the cats. It is in the cold, dark guest room. I love my Mac, and I can still go visit it at any time. I just have to walk to get there, and it's cold in there, and the chair isn't comfy, and the cats aren't allowed in the guest room, so it's much harder to stay there for hours.
• Make it a goal to work during work hours, and play during play hours. This is still one that needs work. Because I work from home, work and play tend to run together. I think separating the computers will help with this issue. It certainly makes me more conscious of when I'm working versus when I'm playing.

It's funny, but in the eating disorder group therapy I attended, one of the things we talked about was "conscious" eating -- paying attention to what I eat, why I eat, etc. It didn't occur to me till just now as I write this that there are probably a lot of things I do unconsciously.

I think it's time to wake up...

Belated Friday Goals

My goals for this weekend, some of which are already done:

• Hang calendars (completed this morning at 12:01 am :-)
• Separate work and play areas (will elaborate more about this one in a future blog). This is done.
• South Brevard Christmas Count
• Menu plan
• Make window seat for kitties. (This is done. Here's a pic:)

Pretty productive so far! It helps to have Friday off, so much more can get done in 3 days than 2, and I'll even have Sunday to sleep!

If anyone is reading, share your non-couch goals for the weekend!

New Years Resolutions

In the past, I have always started off the new year with such lofty, but alas, unrealistic resolutions. I will never eat sugar again! I will lose 100 pounds! I will go to the gym every single day! And, when the goals don't survive past New Years Day night, I get all depressed, feel like a loser, and give up. Of course, as discussed before, the issue is that I just set myself up to fail. This year, I will try to be a bit more gentle with myself, and at least more realistic. So, my resolutions this year are:

• Seek out more bee people. Find the short fat awkward people who don't fit in and dance with them. I know they are out there.
  
• Make a little birdhouse in my soul. Continue with this web site and blog. I'm not sure anyone is reading anymore (I haven't gotten much feedback to the blog) but if maybe someday, one person stumbles across it and finds some solace, some sanctuary here, then I'll consider this resolution a success. In fact, as long as I keep the blog up I will.
  
• Believe that life can change and I'm not stuck in vain! This is a tough one for me, especially as I get older and have to face my future with some sense of realism, but without a defeatist attitude. I need to remind myself that I'm too old to be a rock star, but still young enough to maybe play a song on YouTube or maybe even do a coffee house someday.
  
• Make every day the best day ever! Make plans, and even though sometimes things don't always go as planned, remember to make the best of it either way.
  
• Continue making short term goals, and updating them as I cross things off. My current list is:
  
  • Make crabs for the ELC.
    
  • Make interactive map of how the FL land mass has changed for the ELC.
    
  • Toilet train the cats.
    
  • Finish Timmy and start book.
    
  • Get new tattoo.
    
  • Get promotional material (brochures and magnets) for David's business printed and distributed.
    
  • Learn a song on the banjo and post a video to YouTube.
    
  
  
• Continue making long term goals and do all that I can to work towards them. My current long term goals are:
  
  • Appalachian Trail with Joy, Christmas 2010 (at least the part around north GA-North Carolina)
    
  • Summit Kearsage. It's kicked my butt twice so far, I need to show it who's boss.
    
  • See a cock-of-the-rock in its native habitat.
    
  • Sing karaoke. Unashamed, despite having been begged never to go near a microphone again ever (I mean that literally -- my ex posted an MP3 on the internet when we had a band, and someone clicked the link to listen to it and immediately called me, all the way from England, to beg me never to go near a microphone again, ever.)
    
  • Touch Marty Marquis' hair.
    
  • When I was a kid I saw a tv show about a museum in Japan that had a big animatronics collection. I'd really like to find and visit that museum.
    
  • Hike down the Grand Canyon.
    
  • Get the rest of the stamps for my National Park Passport.
    
  • Write a book.
    
  • Sell another photo or other piece of my own artwork (and go to the museum somewhere in Utah that has the first photo that I sold.)
    
  • See a Satanic Leaf Tailed Gecko in its natural habitat (Madagascar)
    
  
  Okay, those are my resolutions. Your mission -- should you choose to accept it -- post a few of yours!

A Taste of Tuesday

A while back, I was trying to make banana bread, but I only had 2 bananas. I looked through the fridge and found some carrots. I thought to myself, "Hey, seen one phallic shaped food, you seen them all" and I replaced the 2 other bananas with 3-4 carrots. It was really yummy. I made some other changes to the recipe over time, replaced the oil with applesauce, brown sugar with Splenda Brown Sugar Blend and threw in a few other things. So now I present to you:

Dee's Phallic Bread

Ingredients:

• Total of 5-6 phallic shaped fruit/veggies. I usually use 2 bananas and 3-4 carrots, but I think zucchini would work well too.
• 1/2 cup Egg Beaters
• Cinnamon, nutmeg to taste
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup Mott's Natural unsweetened Apple sauce
• 1 cup Splenda brown sugar blend or 1 cup brown sugar
• (optional) 1/2 cup Raisins
• (optional) 1/2 cup chopped pecans

Directions: Shred the carrots. Smoosh the bananas with a fork or potato masher. Add everything except the flour to the bananas and mix until smooth. Add the flour and mix until it looks mixed. Spray a glass loaf pan with Pam, and dump the mixture into it. Bake at 350 for about 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. (Time may vary depending on your oven -- it's much better to overcook this than undercook. Test for doneness at the 1 hour mark.)

Update: I found this actually works better as muffins, it comes out a little less dense than the bread. I baked them in the aluminum foil muffin papers for about 30 minutes. As with the bread, make sure you test for doneness.

Reminders

I need reminders a lot. I'm not talking about stuff like, "Get cat food" or "Wear clean underpants in case you are in an accident". I need the kind of reminders that keep me going through the day. Some wise person recently suggested to make flash cards with reminders on them, and to keep them around when I need motivation. So I started making a set. Many are song quotes, just because music has always been a motivator for me, but some are from books or just my own little head. Here are my personal daily reminders:

• Be like water, don't bash into the rocks, learn to flow around them. -- paraphrased from the Tao
• Believe that life can change, that you're not stuck in vain. -- The Smashing Pumpkins
• Paint the world anew, find a way to open all the joy in order to alleviate the strain -- Orbital
• I don't think of you at all. -- Ayn Rand, from The Fountainhead (you have to read it in context)
• Anger is an energy. -- PiL
• Hang your hairshirt on the lowest rung, it's a beautiful life. -- REM
• We're part of the fire that is burning, and from the ashes we can build another day. -- The Moody Blues
• Reach the stars, fly a fantasy, Dream a dream and what you see will be, -- Limahl
• Don't dream it, be it. -- Rocky Horror Picture Show
• It's the best day, ever! -- Spongebob Squarepants (we had this song played at our wedding)

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make your own set of flash cards. Keep them with you. If you fee comfortable sharing, post some here as a reply to this note.

Too cute not to post...

This was just too cute and appropriate not to repost:


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