Race Results

Well, the good news is that I had my best time ever today, I have cut more that 10 minutes off of my first race in June, so I am proud of that. The bad news is that there is no record of this whatsoever because my chip fell off somewhere on the race course. I told the record keeper at the end of the race, but I guess they couldn't add it in as I am not listed on the official results. I know that the point of this race was to raise money for the American Lung Association, and I accomplished that goal, and I know it's really small and petty of me to be this upset about not having this official, but MAN is it bugging me.

At any rate, here are the results of the last 4 races:

• October 2, 2010 (51:57)
  
• September 12, 2010 (57:44)
• July 3, 2010 (56:25:35)
• June 5, 2010 (1:03:20)

And I do have proof of my time, as my cheerleader and personal photographer got me coming across the start and finish line:

 

Me, at the start line.

Me, torn between being elated at my best time ever, and utterly crestfallen realizing that my timing chip was gone and there was no record of this whatsoever, other than the picture.

I didn't even come in last, I would have come in 17th for my age group  if I hadn't lost my chip.

Weekend Event

Hi! This weekends event will be a bike ride out at Goodwin Wildlife Management Area:

Date: Sunday afternoon
Time: Meet at my house at 5:00

Please drop me an email if you want to join and for directions. Hope to see you there!

You don't need new underpants, you can surgically get a bigger butt!

Ok, now I'm just plain scared. Last week I posted about the fact that you can buy underpants to make your butt look bigger. Well, it turns out that if you want a more permanent solution, you can also GET SURGERY to make your butt look bigger.

My favorite line of the article, and I warn you to skip the next line if you are squemish, is:

"The difference between this is and other sorts of fat augmentation is that the surgeon injects fat between layers of muscle, so there is more blood supply to the fat and less of it dies. The scars left by the incisions needed to inject the fat are hidden, says Mendieta, ‘in the grand canyon where the thong goes’, hence the name of the procedure."

Now I don't know about you, but on the list of places on my body that I don't want an incision, I'd have to say my butt crack is pretty close to the top of the list, or the bottom I guess. I mean, have you ever been riding your bike, and you kind of lift your self up a little to adjust, and when you sit back down you are a little off center and you.. OUCH. Now, imagine paying someone to ... oh wait, don't imagine that, it is WAY TOO FREAKING HORRIBLE.

But this still comes down to the fact that there are women in this world who actually WANT a bigger butt. I want to find these women and introduce them to the joys of Dairy Queen, large sausage pizzas, lazy-boy loungers and Netflix. There are far better ways to get a large butt, and I am familiar with them all.  But for now, I personally will stick to trying to get off my butt more!

Who ever knew I am fashionable!

The treadmills at the gym I go to all have built in TVs, and lately during my morning workouts, I have been seeing commercials for a product called "Booty Pop". In case you are not familiar with it, this is a pair of underpants you can buy to make your butt look bigger. I am not making this product up, click here to see for yourself.

I'm actually kind of psyched about this product. I'm really hoping they plan to come out with companion products. I can see them now:

Jelly Rolls

Get that extra roll of belly fat you've always dreamed of, built in to a lovely tank top!

or maybe:

Chinz-a-lot

When two chins just aren't enough, wear our custom turtleneck with stackable extra chins, wear 2 or 3 depending on your mood!

My absolute favorite thing about this product though, is the sizing. The sizing they use is:

Small = Sweet
Medium = Sweeter
Large = Sweetest
Extra Large = Super Sweet

I've decided that since I have a gigantic ass, I will henceforth refer to it as my "Mega Ultra Wicked Freaking Sweet" ass. I think I like this new terminology.

Event update

Of course I forgot my camera for the bike ride last night, so if you didn't GOYB and come with us, you missed a magnificent bobcat, 2 adorable baby red rat snakes, a very pretty black snake with yellowish vertical stripes that we were not able to identity, more deer than we could count, a small herd of roseate spoonbills, a norther harrier (or possibly a snail kite, we weren't really quite sure, and HFC David wasn't with us), a BA limpkin, a night hawk, and a ton of other birds at a roost by the airboat launch.

Thanks so much to Heather for joining me. I think evening bike rides will have to become a more frequent event, there was just so much to see, and the temps made the ride really comfortable and enjoyable.

Event Update 18-Sep-10

I will be doing an evening bike ride out at Goodwin Marsh tomorrow, Saturday Sept 18. We are meeting at my house at 5:00 PM. Helmets are highly suggested. Drop me an email if you want to join us or if you need directions.

To quote the Doobie Brothers, "It keeps you running..."

I ran my third 5k this weekend.  Here are the race results from all 3 I've done:

• June 5, 2010 (1:03:20)
• July 3, 2010 (56:25:35)
• September 12, 2010 (57:44)

I'm not too happy with these results. I stretched the heck out of my feet and legs, and had no pain whatsoever. I felt like I was going fast and doing really well. I was totally bummed when I realized that I came in more than a minute over my last race. Given that I had all kinds of leg/foot pain last time, I don't really understand why my time was longer this time. I guess I can use the excuse that there were hills, and it was inland which made it a thousand times hotter than the last 2 races. But those would just be excuses. I will try harder next time (next race is in October.)

But overall, it was a great race, made better by doing it with 8 other family members. Uncle Duncan came in first in his age group, cousin Janine came in second in hers, cousin Beth did great in her first race ever, cousins James, Cathyrn and Dylan came all the way from Canada and survived the heat and humidity of a Florida race, and Amy (the one who started it all) did a 10k with her best time ever.  And, true to the family motto, we all got cake after! Yay!