Friday, August 20, 2010

This Week's Event!

This week's event will be a hike at Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. We will meet at the Starbucks near GOTG at 8:00 am for noms and start hiking at 9:00. Drop me an email or reply here if you plan to join us!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Terror of Dress Shopping Continues

So, with only 6 days left till Theresa and Chuck's wedding, I decided it was time to bite the bullet and go shopping for something wear. It didn't seem fair. I went into a thrift shop, they had a really nice slate grey jacket that fit David perfect, was in perfect condition, and cost $6. I went to the women's section. The only thing they had in my size was a lime green shirt that had bizarre hair-like strands hanging from it. Seriously, it looked like someone had eviscerated Kermit the Frog. I was tempted to buy it just take a picture of it for the blog, but I really didn't feel like encouraging this kind of thing.

So, $6 later, we had grown up clothes for David, and I continued my lonely search for clothes alone. After hitting way too many stores, I finally found what I initially thought was a nice dress. Solid purple, v-neck, sleeveless, kind of flouncy skirt. Now, in the store, I thought I looked a little bumpy, but figured, hey, the mirrors are bad, the lighting... it's amazing what I can tell myself when I just want to get out of a store.

I got home and tried on the dress for David. Have you seen the movie Popeye where Olive Oyl is trying to think of all of Bluto's good qualities, and the only one she can think of is, "He's large"? I am fairly certain that it was only David's sense of self-preservation that kept him from quoting that song. He kept ... silent for a minute. I finally said, "Do you think I should get a body shaper?" He is a smart man and remained non-committal.

So, I ordered the body shaper. I learned a few things:

  • A "body shaper" is what our mothers used to call "a girdle".
  • Never try on a rubber-based undergarment when you are already hot and sweaty. It's amazing how slippery those things can get. Luckily it missed the cat on the rebound.
  • When a model is wearing a body shaper in a catalog and doesn't have any bulges, it's because she didn't have any to start with.
  • The body shaper doesn't so much smooth out bumps as it moves them around. It's like trying to hang wallpaper and you get an air bubble so you use the little roller to get rid of the air bubble, but the air bubble just moves around. When I put on the body shaper, my thighs started bulging in a spectacularly unnatural way.

So, today, I picked up what is either a fancy scarf/shawl or a picnic blanket. I'm not sure which it actually is, but it matches the dress, and when combined with the body shaper, I... well, honestly, I look like a trannie Pillsbury Doughboy. But at least a slightly less bumpy one! The best I can do is to keep working on the lumpy areas in the gym.

Confidential to V: For the love of all that's holy, please either get married soon while this dress still fits, or get married in a Chuck E. Cheese!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

A Taste of Tuesday

I tend to be a breakfast skipper, or when do eat breakfast, I don't always make the best choices. Most days it' so much easier just to grab a Pop Tart, and even if it's a Fiber1 PopTart which have the huge benefit of being able to, shall we say, "move me", they are still pretty high and calories and are not always the best choice.

Another breakfast issue is that I go to the gym first thing in the morning and get icky if I eat before I work out. So, I usually workout on an empty stomach and am ravenous when I get home, which means I need something high-protein and FAST.  This is my standby lap-band friendly breakfast "recipe". And I use the term "recipe" loosely:

Dee McMuffs

Ingredients: Pam (or other cooking spray), 1/2 English Muffin, 1 Egg, 1/2 inch block of Cabot Low-fat Pepper Jack Cheese.

Note: You can use different type of cheese but it won't be as yummy and will therefore no longer be distinguishable as a Dee McMuff.

  1. Find a microwave-safe bowl that has the exact diameter of an English Muffin. You can go larger or smaller, but personally, I really can't handle non-symmetrical food in the morning.
  2. Spray the bowl with Pam (or other cooking spray).
  3. Place an egg in the bowl. Stab the yoke a bunch of times to prevent splattery accidents.
  4. I forgot to mention, you should have cracked the egg before step 3, it makes stabbing the yoke much easier. Wow, "stabbing the yoke" sounds like it should be a euphemism for something dirty. But it isn't, so get your mind out of the gutter. But I digress.
  5. Microwave the egg for 30 seconds.
  6. While the egg is cooking, cut an English Muffin in 1/2 and toast it. Save the other half either for tomorrow, or for a friend, or use as a frisbee in a game of catch with the cat.
  7. Take the egg out of the microwave and stir it up a little bit.  Chop up about 1/2 of the cheese and drop into the egg.
  8. Microwave the egg/cheese mixture for another 30 seconds.
  9. Take the egg out of the microwave, and remove the english muffin from the toaster. 
  10. Place the english muffin bumpy side down on the egg mixture, then turn over onto a microwaveable plate.
  11. Slice the rest of the cheese and put on top of the cheese. 
  12. Nuke for another 30 seconds. 
  13. If any of the cheese falls off the egg, scrape it off the plate and put it back on top. Quickly, before it sticks to the plate. Now! Do it Now! Sorry, I just hate the thought of any of the cheese going to waste.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

What you missed!

If you chose not to GOYA and join us for our outing at Jaycee park today, here's what you missed:

A glorious Atlantic sunrise:

Birdwatching with Michael and David (and your fearless leader, not shown cause someone had to take the picture, and Michael and David are far more photogenic than I :-) :

Other highlights of the trip included good looks at a loggerhead shrike and a magnificent frigate bird, and watching some insane people scuba-diving using what appeared to be a gas-powered generator floating on an inner-tube instead of real diving apparatus (I'm not making that up!)