More on Motivation

Since I started this blog, one of the questions I get asked the most is, "What motivates you?" There are a few answers to that. People are a big motivator (I'm looking at you David, Heather, Alison, Hiawassee Mom, Joy, Amy, all the way back Wayne on Mount Monadnock who started this whole thing) and I would not have come as far as I have in the last few years without them. But the one thing that has always been with me, literally every waking minute of my day is music. It is what gets me up in the morning, gets me through my work outs, and gets me though the times that I alone.

Back in 1995 after my divorce, I was pretty down. I listened to a lot of music and read a lot of philosophy. One thing that stayed with me was from the Tao, there is a part about learning to be like water and go around the rocks instead of just crashing into them. I needed a reminder of this point, which is the explanation for my first tattoo on my left wrist.

At the time I got that tattoo, I knew I wanted a second one on my right wrist. My initial thought was the chinese character for "Silence" as at the time I was convinced I talk way too much. A few years removed from the divorce, I realized that that was pretty negative, I am chatty, that's just the way I am, most people think it's actually one of my better points and I came to appreciate it. But I still wanted a tattoo, but was back to being undecided what I wanted.

I started this blog in 2009. I was a big turning point for me, it was about self acceptance. On New Year's Eve 2009, I was wondering if the blog was a bad idea, had doubts if anyone would ever want to go out and do stuff, didn't really know if I could make any kind of difference or impact.  I was feeling kind of bored and lonely and started goofing off on YouTube. I happened to stumble across one of my favorite videos of all time, The Smashing Pumpkin's Tonight, Tonight:



A line from the song jumped out at me:

"Believe that life can change, that you're not stuck in vain"

A few things dawned on me at that moment:

• Not hating myself doesn't mean I have to go through the rest of my life not changing or fixing the things that are broken.
• I found my new tattoo.
• In the video, that is Tom Kenney, a.k.a. Spongebob Squarepants, jumping out of the dirigible. 

When I made my new year goals that day, I put "Get new tattoo" on the list. I didn't do it. I put it on my list again in 2010. Didn't do it again.

A few weeks ago, during an SOS walk, I was whining to Heather about being down, and she basically kicked my butt and told me stop whining and GOYB (man, I HATE it when people throw my own words back at me:-). So, I came home from the walk, and took a day off of work to regroup myself. On that day, I went back and revisited my new years goals - I bought new sneakers, I signed up for banjo lessons, and I researched tattoo artists in the area. Since that day I have:

• Started banjo lessons
• Increased my walking to between 3-5 miles a day
• Got this:

In case you couldn't watch the video, this is the dirigible that they ride to the moon. And in case you are not familiar with my warped sense of humor, the yellow in the window at the bottom is Spongebob Squarepants.

Life feels new and good again. 

Join us for the SOS walk tomorrow evening.  But beware, you will have to look at my tattoo over and over and over. :-)