The Decision

So, after much, much thought, I decided against having the lapband replaced. There were many contributing factors, and I sincerely appreciate everyone who share their thoughts with me on it, and I really appreciate all of the support I've received. The decision wasn't an easy one. I pretty much decided early on that I would not have it replaced, but the insecurity that's messed with my head for the last 2 years made me second guess myself pretty much till I woke up in the recovery room.

As angry as I've been, and as stupid as I've felt, I do think I have learned a lot over the last 2 years, and I think it's important to document what I have learned from this experience for anyone thinking of getting a lapband who might stumble across this blog:

• First and foremost: 
• Fear of vomiting is not the same thing as learning how to eat right.
• Fear of vomiting is not the same thing as learning how to deal with issues with food and weight.
• If you have ANY medical issue and you feel like your doctor isn't listening to you, FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR. I know my body, and any doctor who thinks otherwise can go fry.
• As mentioned in previous posts, I've never been hungry in my life. This was probably the most important thing I learned. I did not get to be morbidly obese eating only when I was hungry, even if the lapband hadn't been defective, I still would not have succeeded with it for this reason alone. 
• I am fairly active, and my nutritional needs simply do not coincide with the dietary restrictions required for the lapband.

So -- where am I today? Well, I had the surgery to remove the lapband last Thursday. I'm home now, recovering well. The first day, the pain felt like I had done 100,000,000 situps. Today, it's down to about 2000. Although I can't get back to lifting weights for 2 weeks, I expect to get back to the gym and cardio tomorrow.

I have been seeing a nutritionist for a few weeks. She suggested getting rid of my scale altogether, stop driving myself crazy with the number. I've been working out, doing 5ks, feeling great and yet I still let the number make me crazy. So, the scale is gone. I have the jibblies from not being able to weigh in everyday, but as I've mentioned in previous posts, I am more than a number on a scale, getting rid of it once and for all was one of my final frontiers.

Late Wednesday, the day before surgery, I expressed my concerns and self-doubts to my friend Richard. I told him I was afraid that I would come home from the surgery and, despite the fact that I know that the lapband was defective and not doing anything, I would still want to eat the world once it was removed. Richard stated that I woudn't do that -- he said I am a different person than I was 3 years ago. As usual, he was right. I am confident now that it was the right choice for me.

Onward and upward!

PS. I underestimated my recover time and had to cancel today's walk. We have rescheduled for next week though and will meet at the Pelican Island main lot to walk Pete's Impoundment next Sunday at 4:30. Hope to see you there!

Event Update

If you didn't GOYB and join us for the bike ride tonight, you missed a spectacular sunset, a Merlin, a Great Horned Owl, great conversation, and this fantastically beautiful snake of an as yet undetermined species:

Make sure you join us for our next outing, an evening walk at Pete's Impoundment at the Pelican Island Wildlife Refuge. We will meet in the parking lot at 4:30 next Sunday, or you can meet me at my house at 3:30 and we can car pool.  Hope to see you there!

Race Results

Well, the good news is that I had my best time ever today, I have cut more that 10 minutes off of my first race in June, so I am proud of that. The bad news is that there is no record of this whatsoever because my chip fell off somewhere on the race course. I told the record keeper at the end of the race, but I guess they couldn't add it in as I am not listed on the official results. I know that the point of this race was to raise money for the American Lung Association, and I accomplished that goal, and I know it's really small and petty of me to be this upset about not having this official, but MAN is it bugging me.

At any rate, here are the results of the last 4 races:

• October 2, 2010 (51:57)
  
• September 12, 2010 (57:44)
• July 3, 2010 (56:25:35)
• June 5, 2010 (1:03:20)

And I do have proof of my time, as my cheerleader and personal photographer got me coming across the start and finish line:

 

Me, at the start line.

Me, torn between being elated at my best time ever, and utterly crestfallen realizing that my timing chip was gone and there was no record of this whatsoever, other than the picture.

I didn't even come in last, I would have come in 17th for my age group  if I hadn't lost my chip.

Weekend Event

Hi! This weekends event will be a bike ride out at Goodwin Wildlife Management Area:

Date: Sunday afternoon
Time: Meet at my house at 5:00

Please drop me an email if you want to join and for directions. Hope to see you there!

You don't need new underpants, you can surgically get a bigger butt!

Ok, now I'm just plain scared. Last week I posted about the fact that you can buy underpants to make your butt look bigger. Well, it turns out that if you want a more permanent solution, you can also GET SURGERY to make your butt look bigger.

My favorite line of the article, and I warn you to skip the next line if you are squemish, is:

"The difference between this is and other sorts of fat augmentation is that the surgeon injects fat between layers of muscle, so there is more blood supply to the fat and less of it dies. The scars left by the incisions needed to inject the fat are hidden, says Mendieta, ‘in the grand canyon where the thong goes’, hence the name of the procedure."

Now I don't know about you, but on the list of places on my body that I don't want an incision, I'd have to say my butt crack is pretty close to the top of the list, or the bottom I guess. I mean, have you ever been riding your bike, and you kind of lift your self up a little to adjust, and when you sit back down you are a little off center and you.. OUCH. Now, imagine paying someone to ... oh wait, don't imagine that, it is WAY TOO FREAKING HORRIBLE.

But this still comes down to the fact that there are women in this world who actually WANT a bigger butt. I want to find these women and introduce them to the joys of Dairy Queen, large sausage pizzas, lazy-boy loungers and Netflix. There are far better ways to get a large butt, and I am familiar with them all.  But for now, I personally will stick to trying to get off my butt more!

Who ever knew I am fashionable!

The treadmills at the gym I go to all have built in TVs, and lately during my morning workouts, I have been seeing commercials for a product called "Booty Pop". In case you are not familiar with it, this is a pair of underpants you can buy to make your butt look bigger. I am not making this product up, click here to see for yourself.

I'm actually kind of psyched about this product. I'm really hoping they plan to come out with companion products. I can see them now:

Jelly Rolls

Get that extra roll of belly fat you've always dreamed of, built in to a lovely tank top!

or maybe:

Chinz-a-lot

When two chins just aren't enough, wear our custom turtleneck with stackable extra chins, wear 2 or 3 depending on your mood!

My absolute favorite thing about this product though, is the sizing. The sizing they use is:

Small = Sweet
Medium = Sweeter
Large = Sweetest
Extra Large = Super Sweet

I've decided that since I have a gigantic ass, I will henceforth refer to it as my "Mega Ultra Wicked Freaking Sweet" ass. I think I like this new terminology.

Event update

Of course I forgot my camera for the bike ride last night, so if you didn't GOYB and come with us, you missed a magnificent bobcat, 2 adorable baby red rat snakes, a very pretty black snake with yellowish vertical stripes that we were not able to identity, more deer than we could count, a small herd of roseate spoonbills, a norther harrier (or possibly a snail kite, we weren't really quite sure, and HFC David wasn't with us), a BA limpkin, a night hawk, and a ton of other birds at a roost by the airboat launch.

Thanks so much to Heather for joining me. I think evening bike rides will have to become a more frequent event, there was just so much to see, and the temps made the ride really comfortable and enjoyable.